Last night I looked at my Daring Deeds list, just to see if I had recently done something to check off a point or two. This was indeed the case, but there was yet another notion passing my mind.
I started the recent Daring Deeds at the end of 2011, that’s about one year and a half back in time from now. In this time span, a lot has changed: three semesters of uni have passed, I took up fine arts as my minor subject, I moved into a new place, I’ve met people, I’ve sort of lost people, I got ill, better and worse, I had a major project of the shape of a musical and several other things.
And so I read this list my one-and-a-half years younger self had written back then, and I blinked, and I wondered, and then I made a tally sheet (and my writing indicates I have been reading a little to much H.G. Wells lately, I apologise if I sound pretentious, it’s for uni).
One and a half year isn’t that much time. Really. I would never say I’d matured much during these eighteen months. Actually, I don’t think I mature at all, I change, yes, but “mature” isn’t a pretty word, au contraire!, it’s rather nasty (and people who use it in a positive way are most likely to go on my nerves).
On the sheet I made there were four categories: Points I’d already checked off or at least started, things I still wanted to do, deeds I actually didn’t need to do, that were pointless now, or not of interest anymore, and tasks I didn’t really could make a decision about right now. Category one scored 23, two 56, three 12 and four 20.
What’s your problem?, you might ask now. That’s still over 50% of stuff you still want to do. Yes, sure, it is. But aren’t 12% that I don’t want to do and, probably even worse, nearly 20% that I don’t know if I still want to do it or not simply to much? Isn’t it a bit idiotic to keep a list of things that you don’t want to do? Or would it be inconsequent to overhaul it or, better yet, write a new one? I would lose all the progress I made, I would have to start with zero points again and make my way up to (hopefully) 101 points.
It could be fun, you know. To start again. To remodel the list. To write a résumé for the old one, take it apart and find out were it started to fall to pieces on its own, and then think up new tasks to do.
On the other hand, just deleting the progress would be a bit depressing, I fear.
I don’t know. I really don’t know. I’m not so good at making decisions. It might need some thought.
How do you think about it?