One of the links that refer to my blog most often is one from Vanillery Garden, from a blog post titled “Am I too fat? Weight Issues In The Mori Girl World“.
While this might not have been Natalie’s intention and she merely (mis-)interpreted something I wrote back in 2011 I thought I might as well write down my thoughts about that. This is about the title of the post mostly, not the content (which is about the same as in this post, actually). Because it’s that headline that I always see in the referring links, and it’s the headline that bugs me.
When I wrote the words Natalie quoted on her blog I merely wanted more examples of Mori Girls that weren’t model-like girls with androgynous bodies, of white, perfect skin and wide eyes, long legs and pretty hair. I wanted diversity. I wanted everything, from body shapes and skin colours to hair cuts and colour schemes.
I am not fat.
It’s a fact.
I’m not even chubby.
Believe me, there have been people trying to make me believe this, and trying to make me believe it makes me somehow less worth than others. But I don’t. It still distresses me that they tried, because not everyone has enough self-esteem and body consciousness to disbelieve.
I’m curvy. Or bootylicious.
I’ve got an E to F bust, and it runs in the family. I’m quite muscular, but I’m short and broad-hipped, so it doesn’t show. I’ve got a rugby girl silhouette, not a ballet girl one. I do have a belly that’s visible, but actually, I don’t care that much, I actually like it. My figure is that of a Renoir or Mucha model, not a Warhol one.
I can deal with that. Not always, not everyday, but everyone has these days when they don’t like everything about themselves. But most of the time, I can deal with that.
There is no f***ing need to be ashamed.
This was never about me feeling too fat. I just wondered why all the Mori pictures I ever saw featured a certain stereotype. Where are the dark-skinned people, the marshmallow girls (I love that term, it sounds so nice and warm and fluffy and lovely), the power grrrls, oh, and where are the boys, or any other gender besides female? Is being a demure, thin, pale girl all that there is to being Mori? Is it not okay to differ from the ideal?
By now, more than three years after the post that sparked Natalie’s post in return, I’m not anxious anymore. I’m okay with my body and I know I look good in Mori. There are more examples, more forms, figures, skin tones, genders, hair styles, styles in Mori kei, even. Still, it’s just a small percentage. Search for “mori girl” (because it’s the original term and more often used than the gender-neutral Mori kei) on tumblr, or even on Google, and you’ll still have the same skinny, ethereal girls in floaty dresses I saw three years ago. And maybe there’s a person, just like me back than, who feels underrepresented. Or left out.
And I don’t want that.
I think Mori can be more than a fashion. It can be a community. With influences from everywhere. Yes, even from willowy pretty white girls in floaty dresses.