Last Sunday was incredibly nice weather – not too hot but not too cool either – so Rusty and I went for a walk through Eilenriede, Hanover’s own municipal forest. It’s so beautiful there, you wouldn’t guess that it’s right within a bustling city.
What can I say, I’m a
big fan complete fanatic for wood textures so people who go on walks with me will have to endure an “ooooh, this is so pretty, gotta take a picture!” every five minutes or so. Scoundrel is absolutely used to it by now (although I think he’s still somewhat annoyed by it sometimes…) but it was new for Rusty, I guess. He didn’t seem to mind too much, though.
One of my favourite things to find in places like Eilenriede or even the woodland beyond my mother’s garden are branch forts. We found more than this one but they were either surrounded by playing children and I didn’t want to disturb, or not as elaborate as this one. That’s okay, this way I have more to explore next time!
I’d love to sleep in one of these some time, somewhere where you can see the stars through the branches, just like the warm rays of the sun shine through them now.
Another thing that I also lovelovelove taking macros of are mushrooms, especially bracket fungi. Fungi are such incredibly interesting organisms in every aspect!I’m always filled with so much awe and wonder when I see the light through fresh leaves, the green overlapping to create new shades. Doesn’t the tree in this picture look like it just grew to hold a platform for an Elven tree dwelling?
It never is.
Long story short, I had a major depressive phase that lasted longer and was a deeper hole I fell into than I expected in the first place.
I rarely talk about my mental issues here on the blog so if you don’t know me off the web the whole me-and-a-depression thing might be a somewhat new thought for you. Anyway, I managed to keep going these past weeks. I went to work, I finished commissions, I hung out with friends – well, Scoundrel and Rusty, to whom both I’m really grateful for being there for me during the last month.
There was just no energy left for blogging (Or vlogging. Or just keeping up with subscribed channels, reading other blogs or maintaining the Changeling forum…) after I somehow maintained my daily life.
I had to turn down an invitation I’d really looked forward to rather last-minute because of all of this, having to cancel my bus tickets the same day they were booked for thanks to the lack of any emotion that felt valid. I felt like something you’d dragged out of the sewer. I didn’t do anything outside my home except for work and to immerse myself in Rusty’s bathtub (because I have fantastic friends who let me borrow their bathtubs) while he was out for the night.
I neglected all means of communication save for those messages that I had to answer or write, like to my boss or for organisational LARP stuff. Chronicles of Mythodea had me out of my slump for a few days and full of joy and adrenaline but afterwards the black hole and the emotional equivalent of watching white wall paint dry came back with full force.
Eventually one of my favourite YouTubers announced a break from the platform. Finally I realised that I was taking a break myself because I needed it before I could produce content again, and by that I mean content that wouldn’t feel forced of half-hearted.
I’m not sure if I’ve ever been absent for this long from this blog – through all previous troubles I’ve just kept on writing and taking pictures and posting and eventually the depression would fade again, as it always does.
I’ve been described as a ray of sunshine more than once, and that’s what I want to be. Depression dims my shine from time to time and then I’ve got to recharge. And that’s what I did.
Thanks for your patience while the clouds passed by.
I’m a fucking ray of sunshine, and I’m back, stronger and warmer and merrier than before.
It feels good to shine again.
It’s almost the end of the month again and I still haven’t gotten around taking pictures of my hauls from the last two months. I’m sorry about it but we’ll have to make do with the videos I shot for them.
I hope you enjoy them anyway! Have you had any thrifting luck lately?
Remember the Wunderkammer Chronicles I wrote about here?
It’s alive. And kicking. And sprinkling fairy dust. Badass fairy dust.
What I want it to become is a lifestyle community for like-minded individuals, not only roleplayers.
You identify with the whole Changeling concept, feeling like half of you belongs to this world and the other half to another? Come join us.
You like faeries, fairy tales, urban fantasy or dressing like a storybook character (Dolly, Strega, Lolita, Neo-Victorian, Punk, Steampunk, all alternatives are welcome! You’re also welcome if you don’t dress weirdly.)? Come join us.
You love making do, crafting, reviving traditions, witchcraft and a picturesque, mori-ish lifestyle? Come join us.
You’re into pastels, magical girls, over-sugared cupcakes and glitter? Come join us.
You want to play Changeling: The Dreaming in a forum with others who enjoy it? Come f*cking join us.
I want this to be a place for us who are always in another world with at least one foot, I want this to be a place where we can be ourselves and play pretend. I want this to be a balefire that keeps banality at bay.
Come join us. We’re there, and we’re waiting for you.
Bring your friends.
The Wunderkammer Chronicles.